Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It's the end of the world as we know it.......

I just got the lowest score on a Spanish test I've ever gotten. How is this possible?!?!? I love this language...and for a long time, I actually assumed that I was good at it! Sheesh.

Todd is *almost* done with the "initial draft" (har har har) of his book. A couple more days of solid writing and it'll be ready for him to go back and edit....before I get my grimy lil paws on it and check the structural portions of the writing. Woo hoo!

We're getting ready to make a pretty big decision regarding my education here shortly. It's very exciting...and freeing, really. I cannot wait. My budgeting skilllllz and nazi-like approach to savings is finally paying off! You all just wait and see what I can do!

Hell, if I can pay off a car loan whilst unemployed, just IMAGINE what I can do now! Mwa ha ha!!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Lest we forget.....

I have somewhat of an obsession with learning about World War II. I'm not sure why. I think it has a lot to do with the Nazi atrocities. My heart breaks when I hear, read or listen to stories. I took a sociology class a few semesters ago. My professor was Jewish, mercifully living in NYC during all the horrors that befell so many Europeans during that time. His friend...not so lucky. He survived a concentration camp. Hearing his story was gut-wrenching. I walked away from that class a bit numb. Just from all the information.

Someone had once asked this man if he ever wanted to "get back at Hitler." His response made me immediately begin crying.

He said, "My children, my grandchildren...that is how I get back at Hitler."

On April 29, 1945, US Troops liberated the Dachau prisoners.

This is not a plug for the US military (although they are brave people and do many great things).

It's a redeeming day in history. A sad and happy day.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Travel, Reading and Learning

I'm reading this really great book right now, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I just got to a portion of the story where she tells how she has learned (from a monk or something) that you should make a list of the three things you want or want to do most in life. And if any of those things are in conflict, something has to change.

My friend from a former life, Sheila (she's still a friend, don't worry...it's just that that portion of my life, when I was playing with a really cool band and Sheila was part of it, is over), is graduating from school soon....this semester, I think. I'm absurdly jealous that she's going to be doing that soon. I want to be there. Graduated. Doing things I care about. Or, even if I'm not doing something I care about, I at least have the option of moving in that direction.

I know it sounds like I'm whining and complaining a lot about what I am or am not doing. I guess, as far as my "career" is concerned, I'm increasingly dissatisfied with what I'm doing and what I put up with. My job is fine, don't get me wrong. It's just that I'm not passionate about it.

So I really need to put my mind to some very creative budgeting. And then we just need to do this. Get me graduated, that is.

It's going to take a TON of hard work. I have no idea how it's going to happen. I can't even find the right websites to show me exactly how much money I'm going to need to take out in loans to make this work. But really, if there's one thing that's *actually* worth going into debt over, it's school. And a house, but that's a ways off at this point.

I really just can't fathom living much longer waking up every day, feeling this unsatisfied with what I'm doing. It would be so nice to get to come home before 8pm every evening and actually be able to follow through on my promise to Todd that I would have delicious dinners ready for him when he gets home (yes, I'm June Cleaver...did you really expect something different?).

And dammit if I don't want some ice cream....STAT!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Steph Romine Photography

So our good friend, Steph, is going to school to be a professional photographer...she's finishing up her final portfolio for school and asked if Todd and I would lend our faces to the project...so we did. Here are just some of the crazy pictures that were taken during our excursion to "the old Elitch's" up by our house.

To see more of Steph's work, visit her website and be sure to look at her commercial photos, which is what she really wants to do for a living...you can tell she loves it!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A Current Affair

You know those moments in life when you just HAVE to get away? Get away from life, from home, from responsibilities? That's about where I am right now. I know I'm not alone. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that in three weeks, Todd and I will be getting out of Dodge and heading to Sin City for a nice l-o-n-g weekend. Heather, Kristin and Chandra are coming too which will make for one interesting weekend to say the least. I partially blame my antsiness on having gone back to Canada. I'm not really sure what happened to me there, but something did. Nothing bad, nothing good....just...something.

I have this weird itch to travel...all the time. It's part of why I didn't move to Nashville 3 years ago...there were many reasons, but that was a big one. I'd rather spend all my money traveling and experiencing. I told Todd last night that I've decided where our next big splendiforous vacation is going to be. "Where?" he asks. "Victoria Falls", I say. ""Where is that?" he asks. "Ummm....Zimbabwe", I tell him. You would first have to be familiar with my love affair with waterfalls to understand why I want to go there. But look at the pictures. I mean, how can anyone NOT want to go there?!?! And frankly, I'd like to get there before my brother does. Given that he's been on 4 of 7 continents, I'd like to get to one of them before he does hahaha! Unfortunately, at this point, Expedia.com does not offer flight + hotel packages to Zimbabwe...only to South Africa...not sure I want to hit up that country just yet.

But it's an unfortunate state of the union right now. What with the economy going to shit, it's really hard to think about traveling the way I'd like for us to. We have to be concerned with energy prices, gas prices, possibly buying a house, planning for a family (don't jump your guns....that is W-A-Y far off), me finishing school before I die and all the other things that come along with being a responsible adult.

Traveling is just something that I don't want to give up on. I work hard. I save hard. Todd does too. It'll just be nice to be able to play with all that savings at some point...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I'm with drama -------->

Title courtesy of Heather....credit where credit is due.

I have way too much going on in my life right now. Sometimes I wish I could just do one thing at a time. School or work, that sort of thing. This is precisely why I will do everything in my power to make sure that our children finish college the way it was intended to be finished. It would kill me if my kid(s) ever had to deal with the intense headaches that have been persistent in my life for as long as I can remember.

I feel like I'm really half-assing a lot of my schoolwork right now. It's pretty pathetic of me, considering that I was put on the honor roll last semester. I've worked really hard for that and I just don't have enough energy to function anymore. The truth is that I was single the last time I was in school. Marriage changes EVERYTHING, quite literally. I had been prepared for that, but I don't think I realized how much things would change in my life. I wouldn't not want to be married, not a chance. It just didn't occur to me, ever, that the pressure of school would be doubly so once I got married.

It's not like I'm taking more credit hours than I was before. Precisely the same amount. I'm not really sure why the pressure has become greater. And maybe it hasn't. Maybe it's just changed...much like everything else.

On top of all of that, we now have dogs, which are loads of fun...but we have to get up every morning at 5:30am to take them for a walk before we can even think of beginning our day...demanding little boogers, they are! It's going to take some time for my body to adjust to this new schedule.

And it's going to snow tomorrow, which I'm none too happy with...it means that I'm going to have an even worse headache than I do already (stupid weather changes screw with me in a most serious way) and I'm going to have to walk Leo in the snow and that is going to SUCK at 5:30 in the morning. Ergh.

After an interesting conversation with a good friend yesterday, it has come to my attention that I am too busy to be a good friend. I can't help out and I have no advice to give. I'm stretched too thin and so are all of my friends. How did it become that we're all too busy for each other and at the same time that all our lives have gotten this busy, some of our lives are seemingly falling apart and we just can't BE there for each other??? How is this imaginable?

Why do I have nothing left to give when all the people around me, the people I love the most, seem to need me (and the rest of their friends...I'm nothing spectacular here) the most?

Sigh.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Week #15

This time 'round, I can unequivocally say that I am grateful for CANADA.



I got to spend about 3 days up north in Toronto while Todd was there on business. It was quite spectacular and wonderful.

I told Todd that when I got off the plane in Toronto, I felt like I was coming home. I love Canada. I love the people, the food, the beer, the mentality, the pretty money, even the weather.

I suffer pretty badly from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) so the weather can pretty drastically alter my mood. I don't do well in winter and generally speaking, I don't do well in the cold rain. But man, up in Canada....I just don't mind it. I think it might have a lot to do with the transportation system in ol' Toronto, but regardless, I really love everything about Canada...if Todd were to ever get transferred up there, I'd never even think twice.

But for now, I will stay in Colorado and work and go to school....and get the above picture tattooed on my wrist and visit as often as I can...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

It's PUPPY TIME!!!

We adopted two very cute dogs this morning...Leo & Suki...here are some pictures from our adventures during the day...

Home Sweet Home

Our trip to Toronto, Ontario (April 10 - 12)
Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Cutest darn thing ever!

Okay, had to share....
This is of my niece, Avery, taking some of her first steps....she dances at the end. Probably my favorite part...this chick is HILARIOUS!
Really cannot wait to have conversations with her and hang out...she'll be a complete riot!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Music's the only thing that makes sense anymore, man

ah, how true it is.
quote from Across the Universe..fantasmagoric, by the way. All should see it.

I digress. Quickly.

I have single-handedly had the worst week in the history of bad weeks. Since about last Tuesday, virtually nothing has gone right and pretty much everything I've touched has turned to total crap. Except for (maybe) my Spanish test for tonight, though I cannot remember how to conjugate and stupid -er verb. Which is REALLY weird.

At any rate, I have had the most horrible week ever at work.

I actually cried today. Not because of people, but because of situations. Things that were (and continue to be) out of my control, but I was expected to somehow know what to do. Honestly, and in all sincerity, thank GOD for my former boss. He knew exactly what to do and that was good news. And really, thank God for a couple of my other co-workers for knowing what to do as well. It was the most unbelievable challenge today. Do not ever want to do it again.

But alas, the solution that was presented to me was more of a "prolonging of the inevitable" so I'll have to deal with all this shit tomorrow. Very exciting.

But I go to Toronto in 2 days and need it more than anything right now.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

In a word......

1. Your cell phone? crap.

2. Your significant other? head-strong.

3. Your hair? .posh

4. Your mother? right

5. Your father? supportive

6. Your favorite thing? .photos

7. Your dream last night? non-existent

8. Your favorite drink? juice

9. Your dream/goal? education.

10. The room you're in? dark

11. Your hobby? retail

12. Your fear? failure

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? mommy

14. Where were you last night? mountains

15. What you're not? calm

16. Muffins? tops

17. One of your wish list items? break

18. Where you grew up? perfect

19. The last thing you did? converse

20. What are you wearing? comfortable

21. Your TV? shiny

22. Your pets? forth-coming

23. Your computer? heavy

24. Your life? stable

25. Your mood? unstable

26. Missing someone? husband

27. Your car? american

28. Something you're not wearing? make-up (quit with the shocked faces.)

29. Favorite store? target

30. Your summer? best

31. Love someone? intrinsically

32. Your favorite color? pink

33. When is the last time you laughed? tonight

34. Last time you cried? afternoon

35. You believe in? organics

Friday, April 4, 2008

Week #14

This week, I'm thankful for SLEEP



I have gotten precious little of it this week, so what I have gotten is precious to me.
This was one of the worst weeks I've had in a long time. Too much going on and too much pressure. I managed to come completely un-hinged on a couple of my friends and that was unpleasant (but probably necessary). I tend to bottle things up until they reach a breaking point and that unfortunately happened this week, rather unexpectedly. It happens.

I was supposed to get up and hit the gym at 5am today...I slept until almost 7:00am (which makes me additionally thankful that I had washed my hair last night) and it was glorious. I think I passed out during The Office last night and woke up momentarily when Todd got home, probably around 10pm. I have no idea when it was...

But tonight, Todd and I are spending our date night buying things for our puppies, which come to live with us next Sunday. Tomorrow we're going to skiing with Megan & Paul and on Sunday Todd whisks himself away to Toronto where I will meet up with him on Thursday...most excellent!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

It's a freaking miracle!

first of all, holy crrrap. people from all over europe are reading my blog! this is fantastic! if only one could make a living blogging...that would be rather much the awesome. someone from greece read this morning, so that's fun. well, morning in denver anyway.

todd and i are getting two dogs next week! they are so crazy and weird, i can hardly stand it...i love them! i have started calling them "punkins" which is apparently my word for every single dog i see now...i tend to think any dog is cute at this point. this is a major step forward for me, if you know my history with dogs. if you don't, i'll enlighten you.

when i was about 13 years old, i was walking from my house to my school for cheerleading practice (yes, we practice. yes, it's a sport. shut it). it's going to sound like i lived in the boondocks growing up, but i assure you, i lived in a rather large city (which made for fun times in college, but i digress). there was a canal behind my house that i'd walk along to make my way to the main street and then on to my school...it was about a mile, more or less. nothing i couldn't handle. took about 15mins to walk each way and made for a nice warm up before practice. anyway, at the end of the canal, there was a house. with dogs. three of them. there was a mastiff, another big dog (like a husky or something) and a tiny ankle-biting bastard. the mastiff often enjoyed getting out of his yard and making his way to MY yard to sit and stare at our chickens (yes, we raised chickens). made it real hard to get into my house, what with having to run like hell past the dog. at any rate, this particular day, all three dogs were in they're own yard and decided that it would be fun to chase after me. and so they did. remember, i'm 13 years old at this point and weigh approximately 75lbs soaking wet. the ankle-biting bastard dog did just that and began attacking my legs and feet while the other two simply barked incessantly. i'm screaming bloody murder at this point.

an important thing to note here is that about a half-mile up the street, there is a fire department. i was screaming so loudly that they actually pulled out bells, whistles and trucks and came hauling ass down to where i was. when the fire dept got to me, they were actually dumbfounded. not by the fact that i was screaming in the manner in which i was, but because the bitch that owned all three dogs was actually just standing in her yard WATCHING all of the happen, never once calling her dogs off.

it was horrible, but i made it to practice and that was that. i think i probably sat out most of it because i was probably shaking so badly i wasn't going to do anyone any good anyway. so there's that.

about 8 years later, i meet a boy named Tony. he's a friend of a friend of a...you get the idea. and he and his (then) wife owned to rottweilers. oh goody! i'm thinking. big ass dogs. great. well, i meet Tony's dog and he's a bit of a teddy bear and despite his size, he's a pretty low-key (albeit protecitve of Tony) dog. one day, during the summer, a bunch of my friends and i are having a BBQ at my girl friend's house. Tony brings his enormous dog, which none of us balk at. at one point, there are probably 4 or 5 of us in the front yard, wrestling about and tossing around a football and such. at one point, Tony grabs the football from me and i don't take kindly to this. and so i attacked him....jumped on his back, etc. etc. it was hilarious. there are pictures of it somewhere in the world. well, Tony's dog did NOT take kindly to me attacking Tony. so he attacked me. he came up from behind me and literally leveled me. it was uber-scary. the dog never bit me or anything like that, but at that point, i was weighing at about 100lbs...the dog was easily 85lbs. he was (and probably still is) a big ass dog.

suffice it to say, the fact that i'm open to getting dogs is kind of a miracle. we're starting small...Leo and Suki are teeny little ones. and they're totally nuts! especially Leo, who is "my" dog (and i'm going to get him a totally bad-ass collar, leash and harness...it'll be rad). he's kind of a complete headcase and i love it! he runs really funny and just makes me laugh a whole bunch. Suki is Todd's dog and she's much calmer than her BFF (she was absued which probably has a lot to do with ehr subdued nature...we've only heard her bark two or three times). she's just a little cuddle-butt which is fun, but we'll have to work with her on that one...she seems to think that everyone wants to cuddle, which just isn't the case.

so training these little guys is going to be rather hilarious...woot!