Tuesday, July 26, 2011

On losing sleep (but only when it matters)....

I'm a huge fan of sleep. Like, I really, really love to sleep. The problem is that I'm a bit of an insomniac so I don't get to do the sleep thing nearly as often as I want to. Even when I get to sleep in, particularly on a weekday (like today, for example), I just can't seem to do it. Sleep is very elusive for me. Once every couple of days, I get the best night's sleep I could possibly hope for. I fall asleep at a normal hour, I don't have creepy dreams, I don't wake up at 3am worrying about something stupid at work that I can't change. I just have good, solid, wonderful sleep. I love sleeping like that.

So for someone like me, that loves sleep as much as I do, is there ever a time when getting to little (or even no) sleep is totally, completely, and without question worth it?

I certainly hope so! If not, there are several things in my life I've been losing lovely sleep over.

Christmas morning.
Leaving for vacations.
Much needed shopping dates with girl friends.
Remembering a great hug.
Simply being excited about life.
A birthday (I mean, who doesn't get excited about that?)
Seeing my sister after way too long.
Having a brilliant idea and not being able to do anything until the idea is on paper.

Sure, there are plenty of times I've lost sleep over stupid stupid things. Mostly work things. Things that I can't change or just don't care about. If there's one thing I learned about my last job, it's that, at my new job, I won't let myself lose sleep over anything unless it's really worth it. Unless it's something good. Unless it's so life-changing and exciting an event, that to sleep would be to waste time.

If I'm going to lose the precious little sleep that I do get, it had better be over something fantastic, not over something worrisome. There are things I can change and things I cannot. So when I start to lose sleep, I will wake up only to figure out if it's worth losing sleep over. Frankly, I just love sleeping way too much to be bothered with things I can't do a thing about.

Monday, July 25, 2011

On holding on to the past....

There are certain things that we all have from all periods of our lives, whether they be physical "things" or simply memories that we refuse to let go of. For me, there's a stuffed toy I've had since I was nearly 3 years old that I just won't ever get rid of or give away. No way. She's this tiny little yellow baby doll my parents got for me right before my sister was born. I got it because I was relentless about the name I wanted to give my sister. I just wouldn't let it go. Bothered my parents endlessly about the name. So I got the baby doll in order to satiate my baby naming desires. The name:

Siffy See Soo Shalarina

Seriously. Don't ask me where the hell a 3 year old came up with that name, but I did. And I proudly bestowed it upon that yellow baby doll. I've kept that doll ever since I first got it. She's come with me to Canada and Minnesota. She's made a bazillion different moves to a bazillion different houses. For the longest time, she held the prime spot of my bed...the very center of the six pillows I typically had. I've gotten a lot of awesome stuffed animals and toys since Siffy (I kind of love stuffed toys)...a fish, a lobster, an elephant, a kitty, a buffalo, and probably a million more that I can't even remember. But none of them will ever top Siffy. None of them will ever be as special as she is.

And my parents chose a much better, much more normal (and pronounceable) name for my little sister...phew!


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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

On the destruction of stores to save the world....


 If there is one way that my inner-traditionalist fights most with my inner-environmentalist, it's in the books department. I love books. LOVE LOVE LOVE them. I love having them and reading them and finding out about new ones. The only thing I don't do with books that I wish I did more is mark them up. My friend, Jill, does a remarkable job of marking up and generally loving her books to death. It's quite fun to read a book after she's read it simply because of her markings (and don't even get me started on how enjoyable it is to flip through one of her Bibles).  The one phrase I hate more than any other phrase is, "I just don't read." What?! Who doesn't read? You mean to tell me that you have no interest in learning something new or understanding the rest of the world or simply immersing yourself in another reality for just a few hours? I mean, who doesn't enjoy escapism from time to time? I digress...

So this whole e-reader trend really threw me for a bit of a loop. See, I'm a closet-technophile and also somewhat concerned with environmentalism. So it seems logical that I'd be one of the first to jump on the e-reader bandwagon, but nope. I pretty well ignored the gadgets for a long, long time. I stare at a computer screen for 9 hours a day, so why would I want to go home and stare at another one, just to do something I enjoy...read? On top of that, you don't get the feelings and smells with a computer the way you do with a real, live book. You don't have to wander through stacks and stacks at a bookstore when you have access to iBooks or the Kindle/Nook store.

But here's the thing: I'm a pretty avid recycler. I bring my own bags to the grocery store. I bike or walk wherever I can, whenever I can (mostly because it's fun, but saving on gas is a good bonus). I deplore wastefulness. You'd think I'd be all over this e-reader thing, but nope. I really just love paper books. It actually took Todd buying me a iPad for my birthday (I'll have you know, I asked for a yoga mat) for me to really start embracing digital reading. It is nice, honestly, to be able to cart about 500 books and all my New Yorkers and Vanity Fairs wherever I go. It saves SO much space in my carry-on luggage when I travel (which means I'll never be bored on a long flight or car ride again) and for that, I am definitely on board with e-readers. Plus, the iPad allows for a great deal more mobility and organization, two things that are remarkably important to me.

So while I think it's a travesty that book stores in buildings are beginning their slow deaths, I think (hope?) this whole e-reader thing will really take off. Books will be cheaper, kids and adults alike will stop being so bored while traveling. They're lightweight and huge, as respects storage, so college kids someday will stop having to buy $200 8-lb textbooks (so the medical advantages for e-readers are probably going to become more and more evident). And they do their small part is helping the environment. It seems, if you ask me, the benefits of e-readers far outweigh the disadvantages, but I'm open to discussion on that...

What do you think?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

On loving some of the things I love....

I have a mere three days left at my current job. I'm excited for the changes and opportunities that lie ahead of me, both at my new day job and through Use The Clutch, but it is a little weird leaving behind something that I've been a part of for over five years. 

I resist change pretty mightily so when I got the offer for my new job and accepted, I had a brief moment of "buyer's remorse"...had I done the right thing? The answer, so far, is "yes." I'll miss some of my co-workers and clients, that much is for sure. But the one thing I'm going to miss the most? 

The buffalo.
 
Seriously...how is that not the cutest thing in the entire world?
There's nothing quite like driving up to the office seeing that view.  It amazes me just about every morning. In the summer and spring, the grass is crazy green and the Continental Divide is this wonderful blue-purple color and the mountains are always snow-topped. The fall bring a myriad of colors. And winter? Regardless of how much I hate (and I mean HAAAAATE) driving up the hill in the winter, seeing the snow-crusted pine trees and those lovely Rocky Mountains somehow makes it all worth it. I guess that's what makes me a Colorado girl. The mountains and wildlife never cease to amaze me. It's incredible, really, that every spring for the last five years, I've been able to watch the buffalo and deer and elk grow from babies to adults. One year, we even had twin fawns that played tag in the office lawn. It was absolutely precious. But the buffalo? Oh man...those tiny baby buffaloes are the cutest things you will ever see. I just want to take one home and snuggle it!

So now I guess I'll have to fight the weekend traffic to come up here, sit in the Park and watch those adorable buffalo...and secretly wish I could ride one...



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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

On thinking about the future me....

It's funny to think of leaving a legacy. Probably because I've always felt that I'm just too young to be thinking about it. My grandparents left (or will leave) incredible legacies, but they're, well, OLD! The reality, though, is that their legacy began far before they were "old" (which is a stupid word to describe any of my grandparents because they, like my parents, refuse to let their minds age with their bodies. They're amazing). It does make me wonder, though, what people will think of 50, 60, 70 years from now when they hear my name.

If I could choose what people would think, I'd want them to think that I was really successful; that I did something with my life that I was passionate about; that I raised good, decent, smart children; that I loved with reckless abandon; that I sang songs whenever I bloody well felt like it; that I didn't fear; that I took adventures and traveled until I finally kicked it; that I was in the middle of the best joke ever when my family surrounded me when I died; that I didn't give a hoot what anyone thought as long as what I was doing felt good and right (morally, ethically, emotionally); that my faith was evident, real, and not cliche; that I had friends from every part of my life; that I never gave up; that I fought hard for things I was passionate about.

Yeah. That's what I hope people think of when they hear my name a bazillion years from today.

So now, it's just a matter of living a life worth being thought of in those ways. That's really the hard part, isn't it? So many days go by when it doesn't even cross my mind what someone might think of my life in the future. I do things that are wrong and ugly (take my road rage, for example) and I think things that my parents would be appalled by. Hey, it happens. I'm human, too, ya know.

Maybe it's worth thinking about my legacy on a more regular basis. Maybe it would help me live a more productive and passionate life...

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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

On finding the time....


It's not easy for me to lose track of time; let's just put that out there. I've become known in my circle of friends as the person who can plan her life in 15-minute increments. I'm super Type-A and can admittedly be kind of a control freak sometimes.

So when I do lose track of time, it's a big deal for me, personally. One of two things can happen: 1) I can completely lose my head and fall apart or 2) I find that I'm just enjoying something so much that I really don't care. It's hard to think of that last time I actually lost track of time. I'm constantly looking at a clock and wondering what time it is.

That said, I can be fairly certain the last time I didn't care about how fast or slow a clock was moving, I was probably laughing hysterically. Those are my favorite moments in life. I have a couple girl friends that can reduce me to a mess of snorts and giggles and knee slaps in a matter of seconds. Those are the moments in which I really could not care less about what time it is. I crave those times of laughter and want them to last as long as humanly possible. I lose track of time when I'm with my closest, dearest friends. Being with those people remind me that life is more than a series of events that need to be gotten to, accomplished, and moved on from. There is a time and a place for organization and planning. But more importantly, there are times when turning off the phones and disregarding the clocks are crucial.

So if you're like me, take a chance on not knowing (or caring) what time it is. And if you're the opposite of me, remind us Type-A characters that taking time to enjoy life and get lost in it isn't the worst thing in the world...in fact, it might be the best time we have all week...


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