It's the end of the world as we know it.......

I just got the lowest score on a Spanish test I've ever gotten. How is this possible?!?!? I love this language...and for a long time, I actually assumed that I was good at it! Sheesh.

Todd is *almost* done with the "initial draft" (har har har) of his book. A couple more days of solid writing and it'll be ready for him to go back and edit....before I get my grimy lil paws on it and check the structural portions of the writing. Woo hoo!

We're getting ready to make a pretty big decision regarding my education here shortly. It's very exciting...and freeing, really. I cannot wait. My budgeting skilllllz and nazi-like approach to savings is finally paying off! You all just wait and see what I can do!

Hell, if I can pay off a car loan whilst unemployed, just IMAGINE what I can do now! Mwa ha ha!!

Lest we forget.....

I have somewhat of an obsession with learning about World War II. I'm not sure why. I think it has a lot to do with the Nazi atrocities. My heart breaks when I hear, read or listen to stories. I took a sociology class a few semesters ago. My professor was Jewish, mercifully living in NYC during all the horrors that befell so many Europeans during that time. His friend...not so lucky. He survived a concentration camp. Hearing his story was gut-wrenching. I walked away from that class a bit numb. Just from all the information.

Someone had once asked this man if he ever wanted to "get back at Hitler." His response made me immediately begin crying.

He said, "My children, my grandchildren...that is how I get back at Hitler."

On April 29, 1945, US Troops liberated the Dachau prisoners.

This is not a plug for the US military (although they are brave people and do many great things).

It's a redeeming day in history. A sad and happy day.

Travel, Reading and Learning

I'm reading this really great book right now, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I just got to a portion of the story where she tells how she has learned (from a monk or something) that you should make a list of the three things you want or want to do most in life. And if any of those things are in conflict, something has to change.

My friend from a former life, Sheila (she's still a friend, don't worry...it's just that that portion of my life, when I was playing with a really cool band and Sheila was part of it, is over), is graduating from school soon....this semester, I think. I'm absurdly jealous that she's going to be doing that soon. I want to be there. Graduated. Doing things I care about. Or, even if I'm not doing something I care about, I at least have the option of moving in that direction.

I know it sounds like I'm whining and complaining a lot about what I am or am not doing. I guess, as far as my "career" is concerned, I'm increasingly dissatisfied with what I'm doing and what I put up with. My job is fine, don't get me wrong. It's just that I'm not passionate about it.

So I really need to put my mind to some very creative budgeting. And then we just need to do this. Get me graduated, that is.

It's going to take a TON of hard work. I have no idea how it's going to happen. I can't even find the right websites to show me exactly how much money I'm going to need to take out in loans to make this work. But really, if there's one thing that's *actually* worth going into debt over, it's school. And a house, but that's a ways off at this point.

I really just can't fathom living much longer waking up every day, feeling this unsatisfied with what I'm doing. It would be so nice to get to come home before 8pm every evening and actually be able to follow through on my promise to Todd that I would have delicious dinners ready for him when he gets home (yes, I'm June Cleaver...did you really expect something different?).

And dammit if I don't want some ice cream....STAT!

Steph Romine Photography

So our good friend, Steph, is going to school to be a professional photographer...she's finishing up her final portfolio for school and asked if Todd and I would lend our faces to the project...so we did. Here are just some of the crazy pictures that were taken during our excursion to "the old Elitch's" up by our house.

To see more of Steph's work, visit her website and be sure to look at her commercial photos, which is what she really wants to do for a living...you can tell she loves it!

A Current Affair

You know those moments in life when you just HAVE to get away? Get away from life, from home, from responsibilities? That's about where I am right now. I know I'm not alone. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that in three weeks, Todd and I will be getting out of Dodge and heading to Sin City for a nice l-o-n-g weekend. Heather, Kristin and Chandra are coming too which will make for one interesting weekend to say the least. I partially blame my antsiness on having gone back to Canada. I'm not really sure what happened to me there, but something did. Nothing bad, nothing good....just...something.

I have this weird itch to travel...all the time. It's part of why I didn't move to Nashville 3 years ago...there were many reasons, but that was a big one. I'd rather spend all my money traveling and experiencing. I told Todd last night that I've decided where our next big splendiforous vacation is going to be. "Where?" he asks. "Victoria Falls", I say. ""Where is that?" he asks. "Ummm....Zimbabwe", I tell him. You would first have to be familiar with my love affair with waterfalls to understand why I want to go there. But look at the pictures. I mean, how can anyone NOT want to go there?!?! And frankly, I'd like to get there before my brother does. Given that he's been on 4 of 7 continents, I'd like to get to one of them before he does hahaha! Unfortunately, at this point, Expedia.com does not offer flight + hotel packages to Zimbabwe...only to South Africa...not sure I want to hit up that country just yet.

But it's an unfortunate state of the union right now. What with the economy going to shit, it's really hard to think about traveling the way I'd like for us to. We have to be concerned with energy prices, gas prices, possibly buying a house, planning for a family (don't jump your guns....that is W-A-Y far off), me finishing school before I die and all the other things that come along with being a responsible adult.

Traveling is just something that I don't want to give up on. I work hard. I save hard. Todd does too. It'll just be nice to be able to play with all that savings at some point...

I'm with drama -------->

Title courtesy of Heather....credit where credit is due.

I have way too much going on in my life right now. Sometimes I wish I could just do one thing at a time. School or work, that sort of thing. This is precisely why I will do everything in my power to make sure that our children finish college the way it was intended to be finished. It would kill me if my kid(s) ever had to deal with the intense headaches that have been persistent in my life for as long as I can remember.

I feel like I'm really half-assing a lot of my schoolwork right now. It's pretty pathetic of me, considering that I was put on the honor roll last semester. I've worked really hard for that and I just don't have enough energy to function anymore. The truth is that I was single the last time I was in school. Marriage changes EVERYTHING, quite literally. I had been prepared for that, but I don't think I realized how much things would change in my life. I wouldn't not want to be married, not a chance. It just didn't occur to me, ever, that the pressure of school would be doubly so once I got married.

It's not like I'm taking more credit hours than I was before. Precisely the same amount. I'm not really sure why the pressure has become greater. And maybe it hasn't. Maybe it's just changed...much like everything else.

On top of all of that, we now have dogs, which are loads of fun...but we have to get up every morning at 5:30am to take them for a walk before we can even think of beginning our day...demanding little boogers, they are! It's going to take some time for my body to adjust to this new schedule.

And it's going to snow tomorrow, which I'm none too happy with...it means that I'm going to have an even worse headache than I do already (stupid weather changes screw with me in a most serious way) and I'm going to have to walk Leo in the snow and that is going to SUCK at 5:30 in the morning. Ergh.

After an interesting conversation with a good friend yesterday, it has come to my attention that I am too busy to be a good friend. I can't help out and I have no advice to give. I'm stretched too thin and so are all of my friends. How did it become that we're all too busy for each other and at the same time that all our lives have gotten this busy, some of our lives are seemingly falling apart and we just can't BE there for each other??? How is this imaginable?

Why do I have nothing left to give when all the people around me, the people I love the most, seem to need me (and the rest of their friends...I'm nothing spectacular here) the most?

Sigh.

Week #15

This time 'round, I can unequivocally say that I am grateful for CANADA.



I got to spend about 3 days up north in Toronto while Todd was there on business. It was quite spectacular and wonderful.

I told Todd that when I got off the plane in Toronto, I felt like I was coming home. I love Canada. I love the people, the food, the beer, the mentality, the pretty money, even the weather.

I suffer pretty badly from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) so the weather can pretty drastically alter my mood. I don't do well in winter and generally speaking, I don't do well in the cold rain. But man, up in Canada....I just don't mind it. I think it might have a lot to do with the transportation system in ol' Toronto, but regardless, I really love everything about Canada...if Todd were to ever get transferred up there, I'd never even think twice.

But for now, I will stay in Colorado and work and go to school....and get the above picture tattooed on my wrist and visit as often as I can...