Thursday, August 18, 2011

On the necessity of sleep....

Vulnerability is a funny thing. It can hit us at the most unexpected moments. For some, it happens on an anniversary of an event. Or maybe passing by a certain restaurant or coffee shop. Scents are a good trigger for other people.

Me? I feel most vulnerable when I'm tired. And not just, "Oh, I could use a nap" tired, but completed exhausted. Absolutely worn to the bone. That's when I start having doubts about anything and everything. Nothing triggers my vulnerability more than sheer exhaustion. It's part of the reason I try (though sometimes in vain) to get at least seven or eight hours of sleep every night. I make better decisions and life choices when I've had a good night's sleep.

Being that tired makes me feel like crying, like not getting out of bed, like the only thing that can comfort me is snuggling my dogs. And even they don't normally like to hang out with me, making it that much worse. Exhaustion makes me question every decision I've ever made or should make. I start thinking insane things and on top of all that, my iPod seems to know when I'm vulnerable and chooses to play the most heart-wrenching and/or depressing songs. Can't a girl catch a break?!

So I guess I'm interested...when do you hit your breaking point? What makes you feel at your most vulnerable?


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