Monday, January 3, 2011

A decade in review....

So...it's January. The beginning of not only a new year, but a new decade! It's exciting to think about what the future holds (I have my hopes for what my own will hold) and interesting to think about all the things that have happened over the last ten years, to me and to the royal we.

In 2000, I dropped out of school (for the first time) and started working for a cabling company in town...my first "big girl" job. It was exciting and overwhelming and about a year and a half later, I chose not to work there any longer.

In 2001, a couple of guys thought it would be a good idea to run some planes into some buildings, forever changing the way I (and probably most of us) viewed the world at large. It was an epic day, for innumerable reasons. My boss at the time was from NYC and had family there as well as in the Pentagon. That day (and the following week) was a bit of a wash at the office. Two of my friends were in the Navy and I was sick every day until I found out where they were and that they were "safe" (I airquotes that because being in the military, is one every really "safe"?). That's about all I remember from that year.

2002 - 2005 were a bit messy for me, though I did start going back to school (only to drop out again about half-way through those three years). It was a time in my life that I don't really enjoy thinking about and that's okay. I did, however, meet my future husband in 2005, so that made the year a bit better for me, to say the least.

In 2006, I moved into a house with some remarkable ladies and we shared much food and laughter in that space. I miss living and learning with them. The TMJ was a fantastic place to live, no question.

In late-2007, I married the aforementioned man in the lovely town of Golden, CO. Sharing that day with most of our family and so many of our friends is something I'll never forget. I never tire of looking at our wedding photos and remembering all the magic that happened that day. The dancing, the singing, the vows, the weather...it was all perfect. I'd do it a hundred times over again, just to relive how fantastic Todd and I felt that day.

In 2008, I kicked my education into high gear by transferring to CU, which (in my estimation) has a vastly superior English Writing program to the one I was in at the time. Not only that, I started taking classes like I was a full-time student with a part-time job. I assure you, I was not. My advisors recommended that I scale things back a bit, but after having been in college since 1999, I was ready to push through and get done. I learned a lot about myself in that year and came to define myself as a "student." School consumed me, in both healthy and not-so-healthy ways.

2009 defines itself as the year we traveled like crazy. Between Japan and Alaska, our bank account dwindled, but we fell in love with parts of the world I never thought I'd see. I kind of want to move to Japan. At the very least, I'd like to visit again, hopefully at Christmastime. I hear they're nuts about Christmas over there...so I'll fit right in!

2010 brought with in about as much drama and happiness as 2005 did. I hope this isn't a pattern. Between some heavy personal things, work, school, and church, life got pretty nuts. I choose to focus on the good and eliminate the bad. I finally graduated from college, a feat that took forever, but that I refuse to diminish just because it took as long as it did. We also bought a house which, in and of itself, is worth being excited over! I love finally having our own place and being able to set it up and decorate just how we want.

So with a new decade and new possibilities in front of me, I refuse to let anything but the "good" happen to me. I resolve to live a drama-free life. I choose to be happy and joy-filled and surround myself with only the best. I've had about enough "bad" to last me several years, I think. I resolve to let GOD and Karma take care of the bullsh*t and to press on knowing that I can control much of what happens to me.

Here's to another year and another adventures!




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Top Ten of TwentyTen

(I forgot to publish this on December 31, 2010...so just pretend).

Being the last day of the year and all, it's the time of year when many of us bloggers reminisce on what we did (or did not do) over the last twelve months. So here is my official Top Ten of TwentyTen for your enjoyment. A departure of typical musings, yes; but fun (for me) nonetheless.

10. Visited Paris and Versailles, France with the Husband in June...one part congratulatory trip for Husband's book publishing, one part European getaway, and one part wedding for friends, this was an incredible trip for the both of us! I'm still trying to rid my body of all the cheese and wine I consumed.

9. Went on an epic ski trip with good friends to the far away Crested Butte (or, as I like to call it - because of how it looks - Mount Crumpit). There's really nothing like fresh, groomed powder and stopping halfway down a run for an ice cold beer at a bar made out of ice. I'm very much looking forward to our next trip in a couple weeks.

8. Got an iPhone 4! Blah blah blah to all the AT&T / Apple haters. This thing is fricking awesome! The organizational crazy head in me loves this handy little device. It went all Jerry MacGuire on me. It completes me.

7. Turned the ripe old age of thirty and celebrated in style! Todd threw me fancy schmancy affair and with the help of my family and dear friends, it was the most perfect party I could have imagined. So far, 30 is a pretty stellar age!

6. Stupidly took 12 credit hours during the summer semester and managed, miraculously, to only have one meltdown. While the meltdown resulted in a complete failure of my pink laptop, Todd was able to fix it (though not before the damn thing lost ALL of my data and schoolwork) and I pulled off a 4.0 that semester. It helped me prove to myself that I could do pretty much anything I set my head to.

5. Bought a house!! In January, we started looking earnestly for a house of our own and with some amount of dumb luck and a fantastic realtor, we found the perfect house in the perfect location. By April, we closed and on May 1, we moved in a started making it our own. It's a bit of a work in progress right now, but we love every bit of it and the dogs totally love the backyard (as do we)...I'm looking forward to spring and summer to start working on making the yard a lovely litte haven for us.

4. Made prime rib for the first time. Okay, so it's not an overwhelming accomplishment, but it leads somewhere. And hey, prime rib is a bit of an undertaking. And an expensive one, at that!

3. Threw my very first formal dinner party! I needed to do this to test out making a prime rib as it was going to be the main course for Christmas dinner, something I REALLY didn't want to screw up. The party, as far as I could tell, was a success and the June Cleaver in me can't wait to host more and more parties!

2. Hosted Christmas and Christmas dinner at our house! I've been wanting to hose a killer Christmas since I was about 12 years old. I love my family's traditions and the ones that Husband and I have created over the last five years, so it was nice to get the chance to do that at last! My plum pudding turned out amazingly and the prime rib (which I did a practice run on in #4) was too big but that just means left overs for us. Oh darn.

1. Probably the most epic thing that has happened to me in recent years (outside of getting married), I finally graduated from a university! Eleven long years and plenty of screwing around with my education, I finally finished and did it with some amount of success. Made the Dean's List a couple of times, impressed my advisor with my gumption, and created some of my best writing to date...I can't complain! It feels good to be done.






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Monday, December 13, 2010

On feeling underwhelmed...

Maybe this is a common feeling for people, but finishing school - completely finishing - is about the most underwhelming thing I have ever experienced. I just don't know what to do with myself right now.

I no longer have papers to write or research to do. I don't need to log on to my online classes and get discussions posted. I'll never have another spring or Christmas break which means I'll never need to cram as much as I can into a week or two, for fear of missing out on something while I'm doing homework. I won't ever utter those three little words so many people have heard from me the last few years: "I have homework."

I woke up last night from a medicated stupor, sure that there was something I needed to be concerned about (other than my puppy who ate a couple chicken bones yesterday). And there was nothing. Really. Just...nothing. So I went back to sleep and that was that.

I'm likening this feeling to the 4th of July. It's sort of the same thing. Everything starts out a little slowly, then ramps up until CRASH! BOOM! The giant finale we've all been waiting for! The pinnacle of the show...they break out the big guns and give us the best they've got! And it's all very exciting for a few minutes and then....it just ends. There's no winding down. It's just over.

So now I'm struggling with the idea of what to do with myself. I need to clean and rearrange much of the house. I have a ton of recipes that I'm dying to try out (though with Christmas only 2 weeks away and me hosting dinner, I don't know that many new recipes will get tested in the near future). I want to start consulting brides again. I definitely want to start writing in earnest. There are plenty of things that I want and need to get done, but for now? I think I'll just revel in the fact that, while it took me waaaaay too long to complete, I've just finished my degree. I'm just going to be okay with that and get the massage I've been (quite literally) aching for, for so long.




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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

On taking stock of life....

Thanksgiving, much like the dreaded Valentines Day, is a day when the retail industry seems to prey on our overly-consumerist brains. We spend tons of cash on food, to say the very least, and Black Friday...well, let's not even go there.

People tend to rag on Valentines Day quite a bit for being a consumer driven man-made holiday designed to guilt us into buying expensive chocolates, flowers, and jewelry to prove to that we love someone. I, for one, used to be adamantly opposed to Valentines Day. Unfortunately, I did not have a good reason. I just was. But then, after finding someone who could make me like Valentines Day for all the traditional hullabaloo (yes, I get flowers every year), I began to think differently about the day.

We all lead very busy lives. None of us seem to have enough time in the day to manage all the things we need to do and people we need to see. I have three calendars for three different parts of my life and I still can't seem to keep everything straight (though I do manage to keep a good portion of it under control). So isn't it kind of nice to have that automatic reminder every year on February 14th to tell the people in our lives that we love them?

Sure, sure. We should tell people we love them every day. But honestly, the only person who gets a daily "I love you" from me is my husband. That leaves a substantial portion of the people in my life to whom I definitely do not say that to often enough. While Valentines Day has taken a romantic tone, there's no reason that we shouldn't be reminded to say "I love you" to everyone that day.

The same is true of Thanksgiving. A holiday that's riddled with tradition, at least in my family, is also a good excuse to take stock of the things for which we are thankful. I was challenged by a friend to try to find something to be thankful for each day this month. Some days were easier than others, that's for certain. But I have a hard time believing that any of us could go a single day without finding something to be thankful for. Even on the hardest, darkest days of this year, there has been a glimmer of thankfulness (even if it was hard to find and I really had to hunt it down).

We should be thankful for many things every single day. Thanksgiving is just a good reminder of that...even if you spend the entire day drugged up on tryptophan, watching football (which is what I usually end up doing).




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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

On being SAD....

I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Winter is, without question, the worst time of year for me. This is not surprising or new information for anyone who knows me. I survive the first half of winter through the knowledge that Christmas is coming which means baking and parties and music and general excitement are well on their way. I survive the latter half of the season through the knowledge that spring and summer are mere weeks away.

When I first found out I had SAD, I muddled my way through it by going to a tanning salon every day at lunch for a few minutes of my ever-needed UV rays. For many years of my life, I was a bronzed goddess not in the dead heat of July, but in the blizzards of January. The humor in that is another thing that helped me get through the winter season.

For a long time, I never told anyone why I was a) so damn depressed for four to five months out of the year or b) why I was so incredibly tan (thereby leaving myself open to the scrutiny of vanity). Anytime someone asked how I was doing, I would typically respond with, "I'm okay...just ready for winter to be over." The reaction was (and remains, to this day), "What?! I love winter! Winter is great! How can you hate winter? You're from Colorado!"

I hated that reaction. I hated it because no one knew why I hated winter so much and I really had no interest in telling anyone WHY I hated winter. I still hate that reaction. The first big snow of the season is rough on me. The time change makes it worse (though, mercifully, this year both happened pretty close to each other so it's been a little easier).

About five years ago, I finally started telling people why I was so depressed during the winter and why I hate the season so much. All my friends know that I live for Christmas, so I'm sure it was a bit of a relief to finally understand why I was so schizophrenic about winter. I'll never forget where I was or who I was with the first time I really opened up about what is "wrong" with me. See, all of my friends (my husband included) really love winter, cold, snow, all that jazz. I'm pretty much the only one that would rather have it be 85F and blazing hot than have to deal with layers of clothing and scraping my car, blah blah blah.

I remember getting a card from some of my girl friends shortly after letting everyone in on my SAD secret, reminding me that they'd be on my case to get me out of the house and that it was going to be their mission to make me enjoy winter (one friend actually got me to enjoy small-ish roadtrips recently so I have faith that she can work the winter idea).

Winter is still torture for me. I still hate it. Looking out my window right now, there's nothing but hazy fog and cold. And wind. Gross.

But winter is becoming a warmer and warmer time of year for me, thanks to the community I've surrounded myself with and engaged in. It's what I love so much about being in community. It's the place where we can lean on each other at our weakest and celebrate at our strongest. Contrary to what Simon & Garfunkel would have me believe, I am not a rock. I am not an island. None of us are, if we're completely honest with ourselves. I have always believed that we, humans, are designed to be in community. It wasn't up until very recently, however, that I really started believing that for myself. The beauty (and often, the challenge) of being in community is being able to admit when we need help. In it's purest and most basic form, community is the place where we all have needs and we all have something to offer. We don't trade bread for meat anymore, or clothing for milk. Rather, we trade jokes for laughter and dinners for togetherness. I can buy just about any physical "thing" I want. What I can't buy, and what I desperately need my little community for, is those very intangible and very necessary "things": laughter, comfort, peace, understanding, conversation.

I need my friends and my community every day of every year. But when I need them the MOST, they are ever present, ever ready. They know that I just need a little nudge (and a cute pair of winter boots) to get me out the door, into the cold to be with them when they are at their best and I, at my absolute worst.

That is the essence, I believe, of true community and true friendship. Knowing that where one of us ends, another can pick us up and keep us going...it's a perfectly lovely way to live life. We fill in each others gaps. We are wonderfully broken individuals for whom togetherness has provided a safe place to be put back together, in whatever tiny ways we can do that.






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Thursday, October 28, 2010

On preparing for parenthood....

I have recently discovered there is nothing my dogs won't eat.

When my husband and I first adopted them nearly 3 years ago, they came to us with instructions to feed them only the highest quality (and most expensive) organic dog food imaginable.

Then we learned that they'd been eating bacon double cheeseburgers while in foster care. Imagine our surprise when finding this out (from the same foster care giver that had "suggested" we feed them the pricy organic food)! The pups immediately went on a strict diet of affordable puppy chow twice a day and walks around the neighborhood before each meal...they lost weight FAST! Even their new vet was shocked when they first came in weighing 22-pounds and just a few months later, a svelte 17-pounds each. "If people think your dogs looks too skinny," she told us, "it means they're healthy. Most people overfeed their animals and think 'fat' looks 'healthy.' It's not."

So with Leo and Suki down to a normal, healthy weight and looking sleek and happy, the madness began.

First, they ate all our candy we brought back from Mexico. I have no idea how they even got to it considering it was on a table top. Then, they broke into a bag of tortilla chips and went to town while we were at work. That's when we started puppy proofing the house with locks on every cabinet that contained food. It worked for a while.

Then we moved to a third floor apartment.

That's when Leo ate the house clean of chocolate. I know, I know...chocolate could kill a dog. NOT THESE ONES! I came home one day to discover that all the chocolate in the candy dishes was gone. Sigh. Then, while I was in the shower one Saturday morning and Todd was out of the house, I walked into the living room to find Suki chowing down on graham crackers and marshmallows that were supposed to be taken to a friends house for fondue that night. She had the most pathetic "I'm not guilty" look on her face...it was hard to be mad, except that I had to re-purchase the fondue fixin's.

Another time, Todd took Leo out with him and I left to go to the gym, so Suki was locked in the kitchen by herself. Suki busted out of the kitchen and found Halloween candy and ate herself stupid on candy corn. I honestly have no idea what possesses my dogs to do what they do. While we were living at the apartment, the dogs discovered that trash was their favorite thing to eat in all the world. Too many times, they got into the trash and again ate themselves stupid (er than they already apparently are). So we child-locked the trash.

Then they discovered the tupperware cabinet. Fortunately, they only chewed up one or two dishes so it wasn't that big of a deal.

May of this year, Todd and I bought our first house in the bustling metropolis of Arvada. The dogs always seem to get really anxious when we pack up the house to move and this would be their second move with us...but I was so excited for them! They'd have a nice big house with a giant back yard and tons of room to run and play! They love the yard, almost as much as Todd and I do (though Todd might like it a little less than me since he's the one that does all the yard work *grimace*)!

We all know how moving into a new place goes. There are boxes and bags all over the place, half of them unmarked or have unknown contents. One such bag existed during our move and was left in the kitchen where Leo and Suki get locked up when we're not at home. We hadn't yet lived in the house for three days when Leo discovered one of those giant chocolate orange things in the bag and decided to eat it...all of it. Suki helped too...and the ensuing mess was almost unimaginable. Then they managed to break into the garage (which at the time was full of things to give away, donate, recycle, whatever) and found a box of Hershey's Kisses....and ate almost all of them, foil and all.

Up until this point, at least they were eating actual food, whether it was for doggies or not. Food it was.

Then they broke into the Tupperware cabinet and chewed up almost ALL of my Tupperware (fortunately, for them, it's still usable, but c'mon). Child-locked that cabinet.

Then they broke into the pantry (which I was convinced had a door too big and heavy for them to open) and chewed through a package of cookies that had a CD-ROM in it...and ate the CD. Yes, a compact disc! Child-locked that cabinet.

Then they broke into my baking cabinet. It has pie plates, mixing bowls, Pyrex measuring cups, all that good stuff. It also holds my deep fryer, that I keep filled with oil most of the time. It's been in that cabinet, at that height, the entire time we've lived in the house and never once have they gotten into that cabinet. I was sure the cabinet was safe. Until I got the following phone call from my husband:

Todd: The dogs got into your baking cabinet. They dumped out the deep fryer and ate all the oil.
Me: WHAT THE %#@^&%^@!!!!!!!!!!!


The rest of the conversation was a bit of repetition of that. Leo and Suki puked their guts out all night and generally looked miserable. Plus, they weren't allowed to have dinner that night or breakfast the next morning (not out of punishment - we're not that mean - but for safety reasons). It was a pretty horrible night for all of us (I'm a giant worry-wart and didn't sleep much that night for fear that my dogs would die in their sleep). But they ended up being just fine and no worse for the wear except that their fur is extra soft and shiny and they reek of vegetable oil (which is a nice change for Suki as she generally has a stench of tortilla chips and pee).

So we emptied out what remained of the oil in the fryer, cleaned it with soap and water and put it back, none the wiser.

Not three days later, I came home to find that they'd gotten back into the baking cabinet and had this time pulled out my antique marble rolling pin, gnawed down one of the handles and scratched the hell out of the marble. MARBLE! My dogs ate MARBLE! So Todd child-locked that cabinet.

The only remaining cabinet in our house that does not have a lock on it is the one containing our cookware and my KitchenAid stand mixer, which is worth more than Leo and Suki combined.

Suffice it to say, our house is 100% prepared to be inhabited by children someday...but based on what our dogs have done in the last three years, I'm a little concerned about the shenanigans a tiny human could get into...

Monday, October 4, 2010

On cooking up a human...

I was recently required to write a poem that had to do with something "work" related, but also had to be something entirely different. For the assignment, I needed to find the etymology of the topic I chose (baking, which should come as no surprise) and various words related to the topic. Here is what I came up with:

It’s a dry heat required for this technique.

Brewing up perfection

Layer upon layer, a masterpiece I create.

Every morsel, every crumb, every sacrificial taste

Transforms with each kneading twist of my hand,

Preparing for the final moments of searing heat.

Baubles of many colors, decorations abound.

I am a confectioner of incredible feats!

She is my soufflé of epic flavor;

Leavened and soft, sweet to the mouth, comfort to touch

Icing covers her as she rises from the fire.

My work of art, a delicious success.


__________________________________________

Todd came up with the idea to use baking as a "human factory"...he posted his version over on his blog. It's substantially more creepy than mine, but that should also come as no surprise