Wednesday, November 20, 2013

On turning into a mental zombie....

I remember a time in my life when writing was all I could think about. I like to call this period:

UNDERGRAD.

Granted, my degree is in writing and editing, so the central focus of my entire undergraduate career revolved around writing. But, oh, the interesting things I got to write about! I created a new government. I dissected American Gothic literature (which was a labored, but worth-it effort). I wrote about Canada and Japan and how both of those countries have made an indelible mark on my heart. I got to write about, fight about, and talk about cheerleading and it's validity as a sport. I tore apart my grandmother's favorite movie and fell even more in love with it by doing so. I even wrote several technical instruction manuals (something I'm very good at, but also find incredibly boring). 

I remember when writing for a magazine consumed me and was my ultimate goal. Specifically, I wanted to write for Vanity Fair or The New Yorker. I realize these were (and are) very lofty goals, something so few people will ever get to do, but a girl's gotta dream, right? 

And then I graduated, got my fancy degree, and, well...stopped writing. 

Yep. I essentially stopped using the degree I'd worked so hard to get. 

I suppose there are plenty of people out there that experience this very same thing. Going to all the trouble of getting the degree and then having to get a job doing something entirely different just to pay the bills. It's the curse of the floofy liberal arts degree. (To be fair, I have had one job that actually paid me for my writing and it was a ton of fun, even if it was just the one copywriting job...I loved it.)

So, now that I have all this time, I'm trying really hard to set aside parts of my week devoted to writing. I'm reading books on writing (the irony destroys me). And I'm trying to engage my brain more fully, even if that means I'm just having conversations on Facebook about the weird Right, the nutty Left, or idiot clothing CEOs. Whatever it may be, I need to keep my brain from going into atrophy. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

On wanting and having all the things....

Christmas is coming. Prepare yourself. Oh, wait. If all the malls and stores are correct, Christmas has been here since mid-October. And it drives.me.crazy.

I love Christmas. I always have. It's a part of how I grew up. I'm that girl that spends all year just waiting for the day after Thanksgiving so I can start putting up the tree and the decorations and begin my annual marathon baking sesh. I love shopping for things to give my friends and family. Even more, I love wrapping up the gifts in delightful paper and ribbons, perfectly coifed for their spots under the tree.

But something about Christmas this year is throwing me for a loop. Possibly, it's been throwing me for a lot longer than that. Or maybe it's just coming to head this year because this is the first Christmas in my adult life I haven't had my own job. I don't know. What I do know is that Christmas is out of control. It got crammed down my throat with a consumeristic vengeance this year and continues to do so. 

For a long time, I've been curious about the draw to Black Friday. I've only ever "done it" once, probably about fifteen years ago. I don't like the crowds and I don't like the fighting over stuff. I hear the stories every year about people getting trampled for a damn XBOX and I just shake my head. What is wrong with us? And that's even when stores had the decency to stay closed until 6a.m. on Friday morning. 

Now, corporations are actually making people work on Thanksgiving? Really?! Under threats of losing their jobs if they don't? What is wrong with us? I remember when the only stores that were open on Thanksgiving were grocery stores and even those were only open until noon. Grocery stores open on Thanksgiving? I can make my peace with that. I'm a professional ingredient forgetter. I can appreciate that Kroger is open for a few hours on Thanksgiving morning. But Toys R Us? Kohls? What in God's name do we need RIGHT FREAKING NOW that can't wait until Friday? I don't understand what bargain could be worth making someone be away from their family on (what I thought was) a lovely family-centric holiday. 

Which begs the question: are we really thankful? For anything? So many of us spend the entire month of November talking about things we're thankful for, but come Black Friday, how much of that do we remember? I wonder what that really says about our culture. 

Something that's weighed on me for many years now is that of responsible consumerism. Ever since I read "The Omnivore's Dilemma" back in undergrad, I've been more interested in knowing where my food comes from. Not only that, I'm growing to appreciate local economy much more than I ever thought I would. I love going to local farmer's markets and supporting CSAs. And that's to say nothing of my support for locally brewed beer (it should be clear by now that I love craft beer). 

But what if I were to take it a little further and consider where my stuff comes from?  What if, this year, instead of buying mass market Christmas gifts, I choose to make them? Or buy them from a local artist? Or even from Etsy? What if I chose to support local economy as much as I can? Or what if - oh my god - I bought gifts from the Salvation Army or the ARC? Inexpensive, creative, and supportive of those that can benefit from how I spend? 

So this year, I'll probably be doing the same thing I always do on Black Friday: sitting at home, drinking boozy hot chocolate or hot cider, playing cards with my family, maybe even decorating for Christmas. I'm lucky enough to get to spend this Thanksgiving with some of my extended family, something I haven't done, well, ever (we used to get together for Christmas every year when I was much younger, but never for Thanksgiving)...and there's not a way for me to describe how excited I am about this! Between Grandma's cooking and my delightfully hilarious aunts and my cousin and my uncle who knows how to make a killer cocktail, I can't quite contain my excitement for this year! 

But when it comes to gift giving, I'm going to play it down a bit, employ some alternative choices, and just...enjoy it. 
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If you're interested in reading some other thoughts on this topic, here are some blogs I've come across recently (this is certainly not a new topic): 




Thursday, November 7, 2013

On finding a new career....

The question was posed some weeks ago: If money wasn't a concern, what would you want to do for a career? 

My answer: All of the things. 

There are just so many things I want to do and learn and experience. My first idea was to be a professional student. If I could get paid to just go to school and get degrees and learn things, I'd be a pretty happy girl. But then, what kinds of things? 

I really want to learn languages. Spanish, French, Arabic, and Japanese are on the top of my list (for now). My heart beats in a lot of languages...I wish I could speak all of them. I feel like a lot of the world's problems stem largely from a lack of communication, a lack of understanding. Or maybe even an unwillingness to understand. I would just like to talk with people, on their level, in their language. I watch people's eyes light up when my brother recognizes their dialect of Spanish and starts talking to them. I also remember how relieved I was when I was lost in Japan and someone just talked to me in English. There's something really lovely about hearing another culture speak your language. The art of communication is something special indeed.

I'd also really like to spend all my time learning to dance. To just be twirled around a dance floor for hours upon hours every day would make so many of my dreams come true. I love dancing. I love the music, the expressions, the pictures. I love the technique and the history and knowing which forms belong specifically to which style. I want to listen to Frank Sinatra and dance the foxtrot all the live long day. I want to go to salsa in Brazil and know that I don't look like a crazy person.

The lazy person in me (and she comes out with a great deal of force from time to time) wants to get paid to sit around and watch movies and TV all day. I have terabytes worth of movies I have yet to watch. **As an aside, I find it hilarious that I now talk about the amount of music and movies I have in terms of digital storage and not in terms of CD books or shelves.** I've been wanting to watch all the Best Picture winners for a long time. I've probably seen a few and don't know it. But I want to make a point of watching that which was deemed "The Best" by some arbitrary group of filmmakers and critics (or whatever).

Then there's cooking and baking. I've actually semi-seriously looked into going to culinary school. Then I quickly remember I barely know how to handle a chef's knife. But I would love to know how to cook like Julia Child or Gordon Ramsey or Giada or even Rachael Ray (with her blasted EVOO!). I just want to know how make delicious things all on my own. Now, I know that much of cooking (even baking, to a certain degree) is a lot of guess work, making stuff up, and trying to re-create flavors you've had in the past. But there are essentials that I want to know. I want to understand the chemistry behind why some things work and other things won't. I want to understand cooking at the most basic level so that I can move beyond that into the complicated (and delicious)! Just don't ever ask me to make a deconstructed salad. I'll just give you five bucks and send you to Whole Foods. Bam! Deconstruction at it's finest!

And much like learning languages, I'd love to get paid to travel. Honestly, this is probably the most desirable option. To wander about the world, experiencing all the cultures, eating all the foods, seeing all the history...and then to write about it. That would be the most ideal existence for me. It really combines all the things I love: travel, reading, writing, and eating. And maybe some dancing thrown in for good (and hysterical) measures. It's like an "Eat, Pray, Love" thing, but without the depression and anxiety at the beginning. Yeah, I'm sure I could get used to that.

Oh, and yoga. Can't forget the yoga. I don't think I ever want to be an instructor, but I would like to bring a mat with me wherever I go and find my spiritual center in whatever country I'm in.

So much of the world has so much to offer...we just have to be willing to take it in, without judgment, without pre-existing notions, without fear.

This is what I really want to learn through all of the aforementioned ideas: to live life without reservation.